But I just need to write this stuff out. I've had some serious personal sea changes over the last year or so.
I'm studying music journalism, and am moderately content with that, because I love music, but I have this really irritating nagging feeling that i'm caged in and that I need to create things all the time.
I want to write poetry again, and make art, and I want to start making my own music. Properly. Not in my room. With a group of people. I'm sad and lonely and into my analogue synths and need some like minded heads to share ideas with.
I just feel like I crave all these outlets at once and i'm getting ahead of myself on so many levels it's nearly delusional. Do I have talent? It's like I want to grasp at all these things but i'm too scared.
Nobody reads these but my intention of writing was for myself, selfishly. Why write something cryptic and personal on a site I don't use? I don't know.